A Broken Bracelet Surrounded by Glass Fragments
Survivor: Sing Ching (alias)
The bracelet once symbolised the relationship, the trust and the respect between me and him. However, when sexual violence happened and he became the perpetrator, both the trust we built and our relationship were damaged – just like this broken bracelet.
Sing Ching was in love with him. She did think of forgiving him for the sake of their relationship. Feeling shameful and disgusted after the sexual violence incident, she was too scared to tell anyone at first. She told a friend about it a few days later.
"I was in chaos. I was blaming myself. Therefore, I think it's important to be supported and cared for right after the incident happened. I also hoped that someone could accompany me and accuse the predator for his wrongdoings. I needed to be told that I was not the one who did wrong, and my rights were protected and the responsibility was on the perpetrator but not on me."
"He got away after hurting me. I was left alone, trying hard to mend my wounded heart – just like how I wanted to fix this bracelet. I felt painful during recovery, as I had to recall the sexual violence experience. It was like touching the glass fragments around this bracelet. So, this broken bracelet and the fragmented glass surrounded imply that I was wounded after experiencing sexual violence and the process of recovery was full of difficulties."
"Then I came to RainLily, I felt being supported here. I wasn't criticised, which made me understand that it was not my fault. Also, the re-traumatisation that I had been worrying about just didn't happen during counselling."
Even in an intimate or marriage relationship, any sexual act or attempted sexual act directed against another person without their consent is considered sexual violence. Listening without judgement is the only way that helps survivors march towards recovery.
Sing Ching has something to say to those who share similar experiences
Do not blame yourself because you haven't done anything wrong. What's wrong is how the perpetrator and the patriarchal society oppress women. You do not need to bear any more accusations and responsibilities.
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