Sexual Violence 101

MYTHS AND REALITIES

Wearing 'revealing clothes' and 'behaving seductively' are causes of why women are sexually assaulted 

Women can dress anyway they want. Sexual violence is an act of violence and control; how the victim/survivor dressed and behaved have very little to do with it. There should be no excuse or mitigation for sexual violence.

Most perpetrators are strangers to the victim  

According to statistics from RainLily, 80% of perpetrators are known to the victim, including friends and family members.

Sexual violence often take place outside, away from home

Most cases of sexual violence take place at the victim's own home.

Alcohol, drugs, stress or depression can turn people into perpetrators 

Alcohol, drug, stress or depression are not the cause of sexual violence, they should not be used to justify the perpetrator's behaviour. 

If you need emergency medical attention, please call the 999 Hotline for emergency ambulance service, or head to the nearest Accident & Emergency Department.

AFTER AN INCIDENT OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE

Please remember that what has happened to you is not your fault. You are not to blame.

• Get to a safe place

• You may be in shock and feel scared because of what happened

• See if a trusted friend can be with you

• You may be in need of immediate medical attention for :

  • Injuries

  • Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI)

  • Emergency Contraception Pill (has to be taken within 72 hours after the incident)

• If you consider reporting the incident to police :

  • A forensic medical exam is preferred to be conducted within 72 hours of the assault or rape

  • Retain what you were wearing, and any evidence left by the assailant

  • If you do change your clothes, put them in a clean plastic bag

  • Avoid eating, drinking washing, having a cigarette, and brushing your teeth

  • Do not clear up the area of the incident

  If you have done some of the things listed above, it is still possible for forensic evidence to be collected.

BYSTANDER INTERVENTION

Bystander has the ability to intervene an incident of sexual violence and stop the culture that supports sexual violence

When you see an incident of sexual harassment or assault

• Assess safety and risk

• Confront the situation in a safe way, bring in reinforcement if needed

• Check with the person at risk, and offer aid as they wish

When you see something suspicious is added to others drink

• Tell the person or the server

• Call the police if it is needed

Offering care

• Check in with your friends and any vulnerable individuals to see if they get home safely

Speak up against rape culture

• Refuse to participate in degrading conversations that keep sexism alive

• Intervene and voice your disapproval to speeches that incite sexual violence

• Educate our next generation about consent and healthy relationships

How to provide support for survivors?

Sexual violence can happen against anybody, regardless of age, socioeconomic status, racial and ethnicity background. If someone you know has experienced sexual violence, you can support them in the following ways:

Listen

• Listen to the words of survivor, but do not blame them on they say

• Even what they tell could make you feel upset or fill you with questions, but you should still try not to disrupt

Encourage

• Telling the survivors to 'forget the experience' or 'let it go' cannot treat the trauma. On the contrary, in the process of recollecting what happened can allow the survivors to slowly overcome the fear

• Encourage the survivor to speak out on their experience allow them to understand what happened wasn't their fault, and put their life bake in order through acceptance

Respect their choices and decisions

• Sexual violence diminish survivors' autonomy and causes sense of insecurity, letting survivors feel respected and rebuild their senses in self-control are vital

• In the process of handling trauma, some choices and decisions are required to be made, supporting should let go of their assumptions in the process. If you have any worries you can let the survivor know, but you should still respect their choice in the end

Be understanding

• Sexual violence diminish survivors' trust in people, surrounding environment and in themselves

• As a supporter, you may have to experience the distrust and reject from the survivor. But your continued understanding towards the survivors is important

Self-supporting is just as vital as providing support

• It is normal to feel distress while providing support to survivor, you should also reserve time and space to let yourself rest

• Please remember that as someone that the survivor trusts, you should never disclose what they told you without the survivor's consent

• You can consider getting in contact with RainLily Helpline anonymously for professional assistance

RAINLILY HOTLINE: 2375 5322

SAFECHAT ONLINE SUPPORT

RainLily supports and walks alongside with women who have been sexually assaulted in their journey of healing, to emerge out of the darkness of the situation.

If you have been a victim of sexual violence, please remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

RainLily Hotline provides support for survivors of sexual violence and their supporters. (More about RainLily services)