A Complaint Letter
Survivor: Yau Yau (alias)
This complaint letter contains the legacies, pain and mental distress brought by the sexual violence I have experienced. It contains fear, anxiety, anger, powerlessness, helplessness, guilt and exhaustion, and the hardship and secondary victimisation during the complaint procedure.
What Yau Yau experienced was sexual harassment in the workplace. She was not familiar with the Sex Discrimination Ordinance and the definition of "sexual harassment". As "sexual harassment" is a serious accusation which would affect one's reputation, Yau Yau felt like she had to handle it carefully. She hoped she could know more about the subject and hear from more people before taking any action.
"I did negotiate with the perpetrator and expressed my discontent. But I didn't complain about the issue to my supervisors, thinking that the perpetrator would repent if I tolerated at that moment. I was also worried that our relationship as working partners would be affected if I filed a complaint. However, my 'tolerance' had aggravated his act of harassment."
"I talked to my female colleague. She told me that she trusted me and understood my feelings. She supported me for filing a complaint. The complaint process was difficult, but she had been encouraging and comforting me. She had also accompanied me for the first session for filing the complaint and the second encounter session."
She hope the Executive Committee and the Human Resources Department of the organisation could take her complaint seriously, that they would conduct a comprehensive, independent and fair internal investigation, thus, revealing the truth, and protecting others from experiencing something similar.
When Yau Yau knew that someone was encouraging her and was by her side, she felt warm, cared for, accepted and trusted. The experience of being understood and empathised was very precious. The accompaniment of RainLily and the co-worker brought her hope and strengthened her determination to face the challenges ahead.
"At first, the letter aimed at letting the organisation know clearly about the incident and its seriousness, so as to let them follow up on my complaint. I could also avoid recapping the incident again and again. However, during the time when I was preparing the "complaint letter" – a painful experience to me – I learnt more about my needs, traumas and feelings, which helped me ease the depressing emotions I had before."
"In the beginning, I felt lonely and helpless, as if I was flinching in a dark cave. Later, I felt like seeing a faint light and hearing calls from far away, which brought me hope to get out of the dark cave."
Sexual violence in the workplace often brings tremendous pressure to the victims. Please encourage survivors to tell their experiences so that they can understand that they have done nothing wrong. Help them rebuild their lives by making them feel accepted.
Yau Yau has something to say to those who share similar experiences
The sexual violence experience might have caused you great pain. You might find it difficult to speak up. The complaint process may also cause you to experience re-traumatization. Don't feel defeated, for you are not alone. You can't stand alone; you need companions who can understand and empathize with you.
I encourage you to take the first step bravely and talk to someone who genuinely cares for you. Don't be afraid, and don't need to worry too much. Take the time, make a complaint as soon as possible, and consider seeking help from professionals, such as social workers, counsellors, lawyers, etc., so that they can give you objective and professional advice. They can let you know more about your current situation, how to choose a suitable complaint channel, and hold the offenders accountable. You will also have to report to the police for assistance. Take immediate action to get out of the dark cave full of bats and let yourself see the light.
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