Photo of Where the Incident Happened
Survivor: Lokyi (alias)
I brought myself to face this incident after receiving counselling – especially when the photo has made it even more real. I saw a wounded self. I can hardly bear it now as an adult, and it was for sure even harder when I was a kid.
Lokyi didn’t tell anyone right after the incident because she was worried that her emotions would affect the others. She first mentioned it to someone – her boyfriend at the time when she was 20 something years old.
“The incident was hidden deep inside my heart for more than 20 years. I was 5 or 6 years old, so I thought this piece of memory would eventually go away. Every time there were flashbacks, I told myself that all these things were over. I really wanted to forget about it. But the truth is that I have been bleeding and I was actually not okay. I could remember clearly the course of the incident and felt disgusting. The perpetrator is now a father and a husband – and this has shocked me.”
It was until Lokyi talked about it in the counselling room that she realised the pain was still there and she hadn’t taken care of her own feelings in the past.
“I knew that it was not my fault. I even wanted to put the blame on my parents – they asked the perpetrator to take care of me because they wanted to go to the casino. I still feel a little angry when I recall my memory: why didn’t my parents protect me? I understand that I cannot file a case at the police station, so I really wanted to tell everyone about my experience. I hope that every parent can bear the responsibility to protect your child. A child might not know how to express himself/herself. So when you recognise that there is something wrong with them, please spend time and listen to them patiently. Every child needs the protections from their parents or carers.”
Supporters are extremely important to Lokyi. She remembered what her boyfriend said very clearly - “From now on, I will take good care of you.” She also reached out to RainLily for counselling and legal advice.
Sexual violence in the workplace often brings tremendous pressure to the victims. Please encourage survivors to tell their experiences so that they can understand that they have done nothing wrong. Help them rebuild their lives by making them feel accepted.
LOKYI has something to say to those who share similar experiences
At a young age, you might now know how to resist, and those around you might have failed to protect you. But you have grown up and are capable of loving yourself now. You have come a long way and you don’t have to only care about the others. Justice will be served. Love yourself by living a happy life.
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