Ring
Survivor: Caged Bird (alias)
I got this ring from my ex-boyfriend, whom I knew when I was studying abroad. It carries 10% of touching moments, but 90% of thrilling memories.
Caged Bird had always felt like an invisible girl, as her feelings, emotions and ideas had never been taken seriously. After the sexual violence incident, she questioned and was disgusted by herself. But when she first received the ring, she felt blessed. Her ex-boyfriend didn’t leave her even when he learned about her past experience. She felt accepted, cared for and that someone was willing to spend time on her. All these made Caged Bird feel touched. However, the relationship later turned scary. Her ex forcibly moved into her house – she used to live alone. He controlled and monitored her every single move. He kept brainwashing her, telling her that she was a problematic person. He even continuously forced her into sexual intercourse and filmed the entire process.
“This ring that contained the moments of sweetness and happiness had turned into a symbol of a chained relationship, that I was being controlled by my ex-boyfriend. It was like the tight curse that was made on the Monkey King’s head. I felt painful and suffocating.”
Caged Bird told a good friend about what happened and luckily, she was trusted and supported.
“My friend is my angel and salvation. She knew what I had gone through and she fully trusted me and accepted me. She didn’t blame me, not even once. I remember she once said, ‘How could you tolerate this?’ And I finally felt that someone understood my pain. This brought me hope, when I was in despair and felt helpless. She helped me contact my family and I could finally leave that scary place.”
She eventually sought help from RainLily.
“RainLily has provided me a safe space, where I can get into my inner self and understand more about my true self. My greatest joy comes from the journey of regaining confidence. I could feel that I was not alone and they have given me the power and be my greatest support.”
Even in an intimate or marriage relationship, any sexual act or attempted sexual act directed against another person without their consent is considered sexual violence. Listening without judgement is the only way that helps survivors march towards recovery.
Caged bird has something to say to those who share similar experiences
Say no to brainwashing. Have faith and firmly believe in what you stand for. You are not in the wrong.
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