Survivor's Stories

This complaint letter contains the legacies, pain and mental distress brought by the sexual violence I have experienced. It contains fear, anxiety, anger, powerlessness, helplessness, guilt and exhaustion, and the hardship and secondary victimisation during the complaint procedure.

The bracelet once symbolised the relationship, the trust and the respect between me and him. However, when sexual violence happened and he became the perpetrator, both the trust we built and our relationship were damaged – just like this broken bracelet.

It was a present given by my ex-boyfriend on my 18th birthday. That relationship was a turning point on how I face my experience of sexual violence.

I brought myself to face this incident after receiving counselling – especially when the photo has made it even more real. I saw a wounded self. I can hardly bear it now as an adult, and it was for sure even harder when I was a kid.

A birthday cake should be colourful. However to me, it is just black and white. It symbolises an insult.

This is the school uniform dress I wore when I was in Primary Six. A dress that I secretly stitched after my mother destroyed it. This dress tells a story of myself, who grew up in a family of which the adults were clueless about how to take care of their children.'

I named the bag "survival kit" after coming to RainLily. I find this name accurate, as my eagerness to survive was so strong and I really wanted to protect myself. Although it was named "survival kit", the stuff inside was actually useless. But to me in the past, they were all very precious.

What happened had brought me physical and mental harm. I still cannot touch this instrument after ten years.

Under the teddy bear’s cute appearance, the inner part was hollow and torn apart. A past that was not being trusted, full of anger and wounds, and a sense of emptiness.

I got this ring from my ex-boyfriend, whom I knew when I was studying abroad. It carries 10% of touching moments, but 90% of thrilling memories.

I chose this picture because the image I remembered was unforgettable. This was also the first time I recorded the incident and my feelings with a picture. As I drew the picture, I realised that I could no longer deceive myself and said that I had recovered. I had to face the pain that I was experiencing. I decided to share this picture with you, hoping that this could give you the courage to face the wound and pain you have had.

Now I have walked past the dark valley of being raped, and can share this journey with others – in which I hope it can help girls having the same experiences.

Every meeting was like completing a puzzle. The puzzle is revealing myself with the feelings during and after being assaulted. Now I am not puzzled towards what have happened, and will not doubt myself. I truly thank RainLily counsellors for their support in the past half year. Though it is not ending yet, with the company of counsellors, I have faith to move forward.

Through the free Legal Clinic services, the lawyer carefully read the documents and gave me valuable professional advice. I learned my rights and gained confidence in the legal process.

RainLily has helped me grow to be a stronger person and to embrace my experience. I am thankful for this place, my counsellor and other volunteers who showed their support through little things (such as wall decorations). This journey has not been easy at all, but I was grateful for all the help I have received.